Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Out Hunting with Google (and the Lorax)

I went hunting along the great plains
In the grasslands of google
where the googlebeast roams.
Deep, deep in the network
Of binary code
the google was playing
and bringing me things
such as Facebook and elephants
tied up with string -

A bunch of bananas some shoes I don't need
And don't forget that marvellous thneed
Yes, the google will bring you old clothes by the dozens
Enough for your aunties and uncles and cousins

Just watch when you are searching out on the plains
The google is useful, it can even be nice
But keep your eyes peeled it can change in a trice
Its colours will alter at the flick of switch
one day its your best friend
And the next it’s a bitch
(a not very polite one that bites
and craps on the carpet
and refuses to rhyme)

Damn that googlebeast, fickle by chance
Leading me on this circular dance
I can't find a website with the stuff that I want
And so my dear friend I will give you the grot

The lies and the falsehoods the truth and the tales
The arc that was built without any nails
The hides of the google are not to be found
And when it's mischievous it will go to ground
And infect you with bugs that will turn you around.

Yes, it's as useful as poison put out for the mice
But still, it is free - and well worth the price
And when you are searching where else can you go -
Well, I guess that is something only the Yahoo suits know.

Look there - now I'll stop moaning, and set all of you free
For I've found what I wanted - yes, finally
Some party night potions, an explicit DVD
and the site selling little blue pills - illegally.

A.J. Ponder

ok this poem has to be posted with apologies to the late, great Dr Seuss.   I wrote it awhile ago and it's probably going to be one of those poems that is never quite right - at least not in my head because it tracks off  - wherever it damn well feels like it - and eventually had to be holed up into a corner and shot - just to behave even slightly.  

A.J. Ponder's work is available through Rona Gallery, Amazon, and good Wellington bookstores


  1. My boys loved the Lorax when they were younger. We had the book and a cassette read by Rik Mayall which got the reels run off it on long car journeys. You can't beat Dr Seuss! There is a You Tube video teaser for the Lorax on video at this link:


    Love the poem too!

  2. Google....
    Talk about leading you in circles.... it linked me to the same thing 3 times... then linked me to my own blog post which read i was looking for the thing i was looking up on google....

    Nice poem though

  3. cheers, yes the Lorax was a family favourite here too - I swear I read it every day for at least a year when Amelia was little.

    Thanks for the link.

  4. Thanks Leopardmoon, and I hope next time you're looking Google doesn't lead you on quite such a dance!

  5. Alicia, sometimes it's good just to play around and have fun!

  6. I totally agree Helen, fun is the name of the game - can't take it too seriously or I'll go crazy. (crazier!)