Out Hunting with Google (and the Lorax)

I went hunting along the great plains

In the grasslands of google

where the googlebeast roams.

Deep, deep in the network

Of binary code

the google was playing

and bringing me things

such as Facebook and elephants

tied up with string -

A bunch of bananas some shoes I don't need

And don't forget that marvellous thneed

Yes, the google will bring you old clothes by the dozens

Enough for your aunties and uncles and cousins

Just watch when you are searching out on the plains

The google is useful, it can even be nice

But keep your eyes peeled it can change in a trice

Its colours will alter at the flick of switch

one day its your best friend

And the next it’s a bitch

(a not very polite one that bites

and craps on the carpet

and refuses to rhyme)

Damn that googlebeast, fickle by chance

Leading me on this circular dance

I can't find a website with the stuff that I want

And so my dear friend I will give you the grot

The lies and the falsehoods the truth and the tales

The arc that was built without any nails

The hides of the google are not to be found

And when it's mischievous it will go to ground

And infect you with bugs that will turn you around.

Yes, it's as useful as poison put out for the mice

But still, it is free - and well worth the price

And when you are searching where else can you go -

Well, I guess that is something only the Yahoo suits know.

Look there - now I'll stop moaning, and set all of you free

For I've found what I wanted - yes, finally

Some party night potions, an explicit DVD

and the site selling little blue pills - illegally.


A.J. Ponder

ok this poem has to be posted with apologies to the late, great Dr Seuss.   I wrote it awhile ago and it's probably going to be one of those poems that is never quite right - at least not in my head because it tracks off  - wherever it damn well feels like it - and eventually had to be holed up into a corner and shot - just to behave even slightly.  

A.J. Ponder's work is available through Rona Gallery, The Children's Bookshop, Arty Bees and good New Zealand bookstores

A.J. Ponder
Author of Quest, Prophecy, Omens, Miss Lionheart and the Laboratory of Death, Wizard's Guide to Wellington, Attack of the Giant Bugs - a You Choose Science Adventure, and The Frankie Files



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