The King's Breakfast as recited by Julie Andrews and Stephen Colbert

I just love AA Milne's poems. 
I think anyone who's followed this blog knows that...so when I saw this video, I just had to share it :)
I hope you enjoy. Also, the words are at the bottom now that they're out of copyright, so you can read along! :) 

Have fun, and if you're anything like me, you'll be reciting the words of the King's Breakfast along with Julie Andrews and Stephen Colbert.

Thanks for dropping by,
A.J. Ponder

PS, now it's out of copyright officially, here it is, the poem in full. 

The King's Breakfast

The King asked
The Queen, and
The Queen asked
The Dairymaid:
"Could we have some butter for
The Royal slice of bread?"
The Queen asked the Dairymaid,
The Dairymaid
Said, "Certainly,
I'll go and tell the cow
Now
Before she goes to bed."

The Dairymaid
She curtsied,
And went and told
The Alderney:
"Don't forget the butter for
The Royal slice of bread."
The Alderney
Said sleepily:
"You'd better tell
His Majesty
That many people nowadays
Like marmalade
Instead."

The Dairymaid
Said, "Fancy!"
And went to
Her Majesty.
She curtsied to the Queen, and
She turned a little red:
"Excuse me,
Your Majesty,
For taking of
The liberty,
But marmalade is tasty, if
It's very
Thickly
Spread."

The Queen said
"Oh!:
And went to
His Majesty:
"Talking of the butter for
The royal slice of bread,
Many people
Think that
Marmalade
Is nicer.
Would you like to try a little
Marmalade
Instead?"

The King said,
"Bother!"
And then he said,
"Oh, deary me!"
The King sobbed, "Oh, deary me!"
And went back to bed.
"Nobody,"
He whimpered,
"Could call me
A fussy man;
I only want
A little bit
Of butter for
My bread!"

The Queen said,
"There, there!"
And went to
The Dairymaid.
The Dairymaid
Said, "There, there!"
And went to the shed.
The cow said,
"There, there!
I didn't really
Mean it;
Here's milk for his porringer,
And butter for his bread."

The Queen took
The butter
And brought it to
His Majesty;
The King said,
"Butter, eh?"
And bounced out of bed.
"Nobody," he said,
As he kissed her
Tenderly,
"Nobody," he said,
As he slid down the banisters,
"Nobody,
My darling,
Could call me
A fussy man -
BUT
I do like a little bit of butter to my bread!"

If you enjoy AA Milne's poems you may also love Teddy Bear. :) 

Set-word poem in the style of AA Milne

As part of an interview on Lee Murray's blog - I wrote Gargantuan Season: a poem that only had one rule - include the words: mucus, daffodil, gargantuan... so 

It’s Gargantuan Season again,

They’ll invade the daffodils

And then, 

When you think you’re quite safe,

They’ll bite off your face

And leave not a trace -

I know it’s not great

To be left out as bait-

But at least there’s no mucus all over the place.

To see more of the strange questions Eli and I were asked - and the even stranger answers - why not go to Lee Murray's blog?

Have a great week people 

A.J. Ponder

 

Find my stories and support my writing on ko-fi    

I'd love to know which poems you'd like to see in my upcoming poetry book—2024

 

 

I Need my Dragons

I needed a dragon,
A very fine dragon
So I went to my bookshelf
To see what was there

I looked up Tolkien
And he had a dragon
A golden dragon
A dragon that didn't much like to share

I needed a dragon
but not that kind of dragon
I needed a dragon
to fly me everywhere

So I looked up Funke
And she had a dragon,
But the very best dragons
Should give you a scare

I wanted a dragon
A fine fiery dragon
Like George's dragon
Just not 12th Century fare

I found R R Martin
And he had three dragons!
But he hadn't a soul
Not anywhere there

So I picked up his book
And it had no dragons
Just some toys:
A piglet,
A kangaroo
And a teddy bear too

I opened the page
To the market square
And hidden in there
Someone was selling me
Dragons

Now whenever I sit on a stair
There's a dragon at the bottom
And a dragon at the top

And when I'm walking
down the street
Others can watch where they
put their feet

'Cause I've been down
Past the end of the town
with my dragons

A.J. Ponder

A fun poem this week, after a bit of a silence.
Because who doesn't need dragons?

News from me - I really enjoyed the science march - although I had to try not to laugh as someone waved an anti-science fiction poster over my head, because to be fair, it was anti science fiction in policy decisions. :)

Also, I'm very excited because BlindSight, a horror story in the anthology At the Edge just made the Sir Julius Vogel Award Shortlist along with some other really awesome stories. http://www.sffanz.org.nz/sjv/sjvNominations-2017.html
Many of them are on the anthology At the Edge, and one is from Asimov's something I'm not sure has happened since Peter Friend. So good luck to Sean Monaghan, and everyone making their mark in NZ Science Fiction.

Have a great week, everybody
A.J. Ponder

Now We Are Old and Cynical

The Folk asked the Gov 
And the Gov asked the Corporate
"Can we have a little bit of
Butter with our bread?"
The Corporate said, "Certainly
We'll go and tell the cow now
Before we go to bed."

The Corporate
They plotted
And went and found
Some cutlery -

"We'll not share the butter
When we can eat the meat
Instead."

Corporate planned the propaganda and

Went back to the Gov and said
"We'll keep
The meat
But you can take
A little
Bread."

The Gov
Took the bread
And went back to the

Folk and said, 
"There isn't
Any butter
You can work
For crumbs
Instead."

So Folk took the crumbs 

And they hungered and they hated

And Nobody won while the old Gov was bought

And still old Corporate plotted 

But for nought,

For Nobody's
A winner
Now
The cow
Is dead.

 

 

A.J. Ponder, once again with apologies to AA. Milne.

This  satirical piece is based on The King's Breakfast, was a bit more difficult than it first appeared, which is why it's a few days late. Hope you enjoy, I'm thinking about creating similar pieces for a small collection of Now We Are Old And Cynical. 
(Yes, I am aware of the "When we were Fifty" and "Now We are Sixty" but although I haven't seen either for a while, I'm confident this is a different take, however well worn the forms. :)

Enjoy your week
A.J. 

Author of The Sylvalla Prophecies and a whole lot more, including short stories and books for children. Check out my bibliography on my website here at PonderBooks.com or my latest series,  Blood of the Fae, below. 

Journey into the Underworld with Ruby, her sister Pearl, and their kick-ass, bumbling grandparents/ as dragons attack the Library of Alexandria and Dream City falls pick up your copy here. (Amazon aff link)

My Minion, almost in the style of A A Milne;s Market Square, by A.J. Ponder

My Minion

Almost In the style of A.A.Milne, "Market Square"

I had a dollar

a brand new dollar.

Mum gave me a dollar

for cleaning the hall.

I took my dollar, my fine bright dollar,

straight to the book-shop, and asked them all.

"Have you got a minion, a slave, or a servant,

'cause I really am tired of cleaning the hall."

But they didn't have minions,

at least not real ones,

and story book minions

are no use at all.

So I took my dollar down to the bakers,

and showed them my dollar, and asked them all,

"Can you make me a minion, 'cause I really need a minion.

I need a minion to do my chores and all."

But the baker couldn't make minions,

at least not real ones,

and ginger-bread minions

are no use at all.

So I went to the shop where everything's a dollar

and said, "I need someone at my beck and call,"

but they wouldn't sell a minion, no matter how small,

they didn't have a minion -- not for any price at all.

I trudged home with my dollar,

and I slammed the door,

and I stomped to the kitchen

when I heard my mother call --

"Would you like a sandwich?  A rainbow-sprinkle sandwich?

I've cut the crusts the way you like them most of all."

That's when I knew I had a minion, my very own minion,

I'd always had a minion, after all. 

 A.J. Ponder

This was a for a certain friend, who remains anonymous who was complaining there was not enough rhyming poetry.  You know who you are :D